Fun Family Gifts, Bargain Finds, and the Truth About Christmas Guilt

There’s something about this time of year that makes even the calmest of humans slightly unhinged. One minute we're gearing up for fireworks and leftover pumpkin pie... The the next, it’s tinsel explosions, Mariah Carey, and full-blown panic over whether the kids’ stockings look 'balanced'.

And just like that, the Great Shopping Countdown is upon us! (Pic of Santa on our Ring doorbell from Christmas 2024 for extra festiveness.)

This year though, I’m feeling quietly smug, because I’ve already bagged my kids’ main presents. Yup, it's not even the end of October and I am smashing it with an electric guitar for my teenager (rock on, teen). And a Chromebook for my son, which was a spark of inspiration, meaning I'll no longer have to play timeshare with my own laptop.

Both are second-hand. Both from marketplace Both in brilliant condition.

Total saving? Around £250–£300., which, in December money, is basically a small miracle.

And here’s the bit I’m proudest of: my kids will be over the moon. They’re not spoilt. They don’t expect piles of pristine boxes or matching ribbons. They appreciate every gift, whether it’s fresh from a shop shelf or someone else’s cupboard.

For us, it’s never been about new. It’s about thought. And honestly, finding fun family gifts that don’t break the bank feels like my kind of festive win.

Now don’t get me wrong - I absolutely love to shop new and independent. There are some incredible makers, creators, and small businesses out there who pour their hearts into what they do. Yes, I see you, and I love you. Even if I haven’t bought from you, you’re still on my nice list.

But, being completely honest, my budget doesn’t stretch far enough to make every purchase a handmade masterpiece, which leads me to the point of this post: The rise in what I can only describe as festive guilt-tripping.

You’ve seen the posts - the ones saying things like, “Big businesses won’t notice your purchase, but a small one will.” It’s meant kindly, I know. But it also has the emotional sting of “You heartless monster, Jeff Bezos , the founder of Amazon, doesn’t need anymore of your money!”

And yet, if I buy from Soapy Sandra and her Smelly Jewels, is she really going to send me a Christmas card for the next 15 years? Probably not. And that’s fine. Because none of us should be shopping with guilt, either way.

See, I’ll always support small businesses when I can. and I genuinely believe in the magic of doing so. The time, the effort, the attention to detail and customer happiness is amazing. But I also live in the real world. A world where the gas bill arrives at the same time as the kid's club price increase, and the car's MOT before you’ve even bought the wrapping paper.

So I’ve learned to balance it - a little heart, a little hustle, and a healthy dose of realism.

When my husband and I met five years ago, we had virtually nothing between us. We were both struggling, both stuck, both trying to get our heads above water. And we’ve worked hard to build the life we have now - not rich, not fancy, not even what I’d call 'comfortable' at times, but stable.

We’ve got two cars (one’s entering the vintage era at thirteen, the other’s a proud eight), the rent’s paid each month, the kids are clothed, the cats are insured, and we manage about four date nights a year.

It might not sound like much, but to us, it’s huge. It’s humbling. It’s ours.

So when I see posts implying that buying second-hand or shopping budget-friendly somehow makes me the Grinch, it grates. Because actually, doing Christmas within our means is the act of love. It’s thoughtful. It’s careful. It’s real life.

Still, even with the budgeting, I always make space for a few small traditions that matter, one of my favourites being the personalised Santa letters for the kids. The company I use is a festive giant (sorry to all the small businesses printing the magic this year!) But they make the most perfect letters - proper ones on beautiful paper, with all the tiny details that make the kids’ eyes light up.

I’ve used them for years, and always look forward to it, but I don’t buy into all their optional extras. Not because I’m tight (OK maybe I am a little bit!) but because I’m aware. Aware that sometimes, less really is more. And that Christmas doesn’t need to be picture-perfect or socially approved. It doesn’t have to be handmade, organic, bespoke, or Instagrammable.

It just has to be yours.

So, if you’re the kind of person who finds joy in charity shop bargains or local selling groups, brilliant.

If Temu, TikTok, or Amazon is your playground of affordable fun family gifts, fill that basket without shame.

And if buying local, independent, and from within your community is where your heart and budget find balance, that’s brilliant too.

Just please, can we stop pretending that one choice is holier than the other? Because Christmas isn’t a competition. It’s not a moral report card. It’s a chaotic, heart-warming circus where we all just try our best to make it magical for the people we love, and still afford the January bills.

And to my lovely small business friends, the ones sourcing, creating, and filing my social media feed with festive spirit, I see you. I’ll still be keeping my eyes peeled for those finds that fit. The gifts that jump out and say, “You absolutely need me, even if that means getting creative with the budget and possibly the homemade mince pie pastry to filing ratio!”

P.S. Independent authors don’t count in the 'shop small' guilt game. You should always buy from them. (Kidding… mostly!) But if you do fancy popping a copy of my book into someone’s stocking this year, you can grab a copy over on Amazon, or for a signed edition, just drop me a message. Every book sold over the festive period funds a Brussels sprout and cranberry sauce sandwich.

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 “Christmas isn’t a season. It’s a feeling.”

 Edna Ferber