5 Lessons Learned with Cajun Rice, Scam Gurus and a Laundry Cat

Some weeks are about deep insights and personal growth.

This? This is not one of those weeks. Sorry.

Instead, this week has been a mash-up of chaos, caffeine abuse, and questionable life choices, so naturally, I’ve decided to share the highlights. Because if I had to live through them, you might as well laugh, grab a laugh at my expense... I mean, experience too!

So here goes - my 5 lessons learned, starting with,

1 – I don’t like my website.

No, that’s not true. I just don’t like being in charge of its organ failure situation. 11 hours I spent over the weekend, armed with just an overpriced app that outrageously highlights everything I’d done wrong. In the end (ie the end of my tether), the situation went from 'aesthetically pleasing but rapidly disintegrating, like those eco-friendly paper straws' to 'OK - let's move her up to ICU'. I think it's an improvement. But my technical know-how is limited to 'Oooo that looks pretty!' And since my YouTube account is predominantly used for reruns of Captain Underpants, all we can do is hope.

2 – I don’t like coffee.

Ok, that’s also a lie - I love coffee! Coffee is happiness. Coffee is soul comforting. But to the casual observer, it looks like I'm just not that into it anymore (like a throwback to high school dating, only with less spots).

Why? Because there were at least a dozen mugs of cold, abandoned caffeine dotted around the house like a sad scavenger hunt this weekend. Yes, making the coffee? Tick. Drinking the coffee? Untick. Remembering where I left the coffee? Game over.

3 – My child has the palate of a Victorian orphan crossed with a hipster chef.

This week’s delicacy: plain rice, mixed with one teaspoon of pizza sauce, and a polite gesture of Cajun seasoning. The American brand, Buc-ee's, specifically.

Apparently, this is the new gold standard, which is a long way from 3 years ago, when my kid sat firmly with Aldi’s Yorkshire puddings and tinned hot dog sausages.

MasterChef, eat your heart out!

4 – Sulyman, my latest inbox 'Guru', does not know enough about goats.

He arrived in my inbox like an overexcited kid at a waterpark, promising to skyrocket my brand. Naturally, I tested his credentials with a quiz on the great Yemen Mountain Goat.

Wikipedia was on my side. But Sulyman was not amused. He accused me of 'taking advantage of him' in somewhat broken English, and vanished into the void. Sad times.

5 – Frankie the Cat is now part of the laundry team.

Yes, the orange beast not only hunts spiders with military precision, but this week he revealed a new talent: helping with the washing. He closes the dome door. He checks the seal. He supervises. He is, essentially, middle management in fur form.

(Video evidence included, because no one would believe me otherwise.)

So yeah, my week didn’t bring enlightenment, spiritual growth, or even a tidy kitchen.

But it did give me the chance to say "Lesson Learned!" 5 times with a semi-resurrected website, a child with questionable taste buds that we are absolutely not questioning, and a cat who may soon be running his own laundry business.

And honestly? That feels like enough education for one week.

P.S. If you laughed at this more than you’d like to admit, my book Raising an Emotionally Charged Ostrich is packed with the same kind of laugh-out-loud chaos. Grab a copy on Amazon, or if you'd prefer a signed edition, just drop me a message.

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 "If you can’t make it good, at least make it funny."

Bill Gates