53 Wise Quotes About Life, Because Apparently We Need Them

Rebel Jones
Sep 13
6 min read

Updated: Sep 27

It’s been one of those weeks.

The kind that left me eyeball scratching over the boring work admin (that I definitely didn't forget about three weeks ago), while simultaneously trying to keep pace with my son, aka 'Stimmy Timmy', who’s perfected the art of impersonating a bowl of spaghetti - arms, legs, and general extraness flailing in every direction.

Add in a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it catch-up with the husband, who’s only home from his offshore life for a hot minute, plus a full-blown emotional crisis with my teen (cause of said crisis still unknown, possibly artistic problems, possibly people breathing in her general direction problems)… and yeah. Chaos served daily, no refunds.

I'm exhausted. So much so that I tapped out of my social media obligations (you know - the consistent, persistent and usually progression resistant slog of posting across 17 platforms to keep your ratings up), told the gods of content and reach to go swivel. And sofa melted with snacks, Netflix and coffee.

Which is exactly why I went hunting for wise quotes about life this week. Because sometimes we all need a reminder that even the world’s greatest thinkers and comedians were just muddling through their own spaghetti-shaped problems. that no one has the answers, no one has a roadmap. And that’s fine.

So keep winging it. Keep doing your thing. And remember, chocolate digestives do count as a balanced meal after 9pm. You go for it!

And with that, here are 53 wise quotes about life, because apparently we need them.

53 Wise Quotes About Life

“One morning I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got into my pajamas I’ll never know.” - Groucho Marx
“It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.” - Mark Twain
“If it's your job to eat a frog, it's best to do it first thing in the morning. And if it's your job to eat two frogs, it's best to eat the biggest one first.” - Mark Twain
“Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.” - Mark Twain
“Never refuse to do a kindness unless the act would work great injury to yourself, and never refuse to take a drink - under any circumstances.” - Mark Twain
“A person who won’t read has no advantage over one who can’t read.” - Mark Twain
“I intend to live forever. So far, so good.” - Steven Wright
“Good friends, good books and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” - Mark
Twain
“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” - Jim Carrey
“God created war so that Americans would learn geography.” - Mark Twain
“Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.” - Elbert Hubbard
“Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.” - Margaret Mead
“The funniest things are forbidden.” - Mark Twain
“Keep your eyes on the stars, and your feet on the ground.” - Theodore Roosevelt
“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Then quit. There’s no point in being a damn fool about it.” - W. C. Fields
“A laugh can be a very powerful thing. Why, sometimes in life, it’s the only weapon we have.” - Who Framed Roger Rabbit
“The suspense is terrible. I hope it’ll last.” - Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory
“I like my money where I can see it: hanging in my closet.” - Sex and the City
“A good rule to remember for life is that when it comes to plastic surgery and sushi, never be attracted by a bargain.” - Graham Norton
“Part of the secret of success in life is to eat what you like and let the food fight it out inside.” - Mark Twain
“All of us contain Music & Truth, but most of us can’t get it out.” - Mark Twain
“The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don’t want, drink what you don’t like, and do what you’d druther not.” - Mark Twain
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.” - Mitch Hedberg
“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive - to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love.” - Marcus Aurelius
“It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.” - Mark Twain
“It is far better to be alone, than to wish you were someone else.” - Unknown
“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.” - Mark Twain
“Always look on the bright side of life.” - From Monty Python’s Life of Brian
“Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.” - John Lennon
“If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.” - Steven Wright
“Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes. After that who cares? He’s a mile away and you’ve got his shoes.” - Billy Connolly
“If you want to look young and thin, hang around old fat people.” - Jim Eason
“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” - Oscar Wilde
“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” - Thomas Edison
“A day without laughter is a day wasted.” - Charlie Chaplin
“I can resist everything except temptation.” - Oscar Wilde
“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.” - Henry David Thoreau
“You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.” - Bob Hope
“A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.” - Steven Wright
“If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gives it to.” - Dorothy Parker
“If you can’t be kind, at least be vague.” - Judith Martin
“Instant gratification takes too long.” - Carrie Fisher
“There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.” - Jerry Seinfeld
“I’ve noticed even people who claim everything is predetermined look both ways before crossing the street.” - Stephen Hawking
“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn’t hurt.” - Charles M. Schulz
“When I die, I want to die like my grandfather who died peacefully in his sleep. Not screaming like all the passengers in his car.” - Will Rogers
“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.” - George Burns
“In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.” - Fran Lebowitz
“Outside of a dog, a book is man’s best friend. Inside of a dog, it’s too dark to read.” - Groucho Marx
“I have a new philosophy. I’m only going to dread one day at a time.” - Charles M. Schulz
“Reality continues to ruin my life.” - Bill Watterson
“I have made this letter longer than usual, only because I have not had the time to make it shorter.” - Blaise Pascal
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.” - Oscar Wilde

Final Thoughts

Life isn’t a neat little handbook. It’s more like a flat-pack wardrobe: confusing instructions, missing screws, and one dodgy hinge that squeaks every time you open it.

That’s why wise quotes about life exist. Not because they’ll hand you the missing screwdriver, but because they remind you that everyone else is fumbling around with the same wobbly furniture.

Whilst these words won’t fix your bills, cook your dinner, or stop the cat being sick on the rug (sorry!) they can give you a laugh, a nudge of perspective, or a wink of reassurance that you’re not the only one winging it.

So save this page. Come back when life feels a bit too big, or a bit too small, or just plain ridiculous. Let these wise-but-wonky words sit with you, and maybe make the ride feel a little lighter.

And if you love this sort of thing, you might also like: 53 Funny Quotes on Aging.

Because let’s be honest - life will keep happening whether we’re ready or not. The least we can do is laugh while we stumble through it.